My friend Donald is preoccupied with Iowa and NH these days and has asked my help in selecting his cabinet so he can play golf immediately after January’s inauguration.  Here goes…

First: There are too many cabinet officers. We need to winnow the current fifteen to a manageable number, retaining only the necessary.

To be eliminated:  Commerce, Education, Energy and HUD.  All are useless wasters of taxpayer money. (Rick Perry take note.)

Also, Homeland Security would be eliminated as a cabinet position with key departments reassigned to other cabinets:  Coast Guard, Secret Service and TSA to Defense Dept., Citizenship, Customs and Immigration to Dept. of State;  FEMA to Dept. of Interior .

Next:  ‘Czars’ will be eliminated in their entirety.

For the remaining ten departments, I submit the following nominees:

1. Defense – Robert Gates. He is experienced, respected worldwide, fearless (and would temper Don’s assertiveness).
2. Health & Human Services – Dr. Ben Carson. Could there be a better choice?
3. Dept. of Interior – Julia Hill. A world renowned environmentalist who lives in a tree in California which she nicknamed “Luna”. Side benefit: We wouldn’t have to provide government housing.
4. Labor Department – Scott Walker. No other comments needed.
5. State Dept. – Carly Fiorina. She knows every world leader on first name basis, has good management skills and is such an annoying bitch that no third world leader would ever again request foreign aid.
6. Transportation – Elon Musk. Is there anyone more qualified to lead this group than the guy who brought us the Tesla, motorized scooters, SpaceX. etc.?
7. Treasury Dept. – Bernie Sanders. He’s the only one gutsy enough to suggest revamping the Federal Reserve, re-instituting Glass /Steagall, eliminating tax breaks for hedge funds and permanently banning anyone from Goldman Sachs from ever holding a government position.
8. Veteran’s Affairs – John McCain. Hands down the best choice. Anyone who objects should be water-boarded.
9. Attorney General – Chris Christy. Former prosecutor and heavy-weight defending champ. If he’s not available – Rudy Giuliani.
10. Agriculture – Suzanne Pyle. Degreed nutritionist to the stars, a recognized leader in organic foods and a perennial thorn under the saddle blanket of the Monsanto Agrichemicals Company.

So . . . There you have it, Don. The hard part of governing is done. Now, all you have to do is win!

You are welcome & Merry Christmas.

For more go to http://www.jameshpyle.com