November 13, 2014

The European Space Agency (ESA) and Kim Kardashian shared today’s front page.

ESA landed a space craft on a comet and Kim bared her butt.  The space venture covered four billion miles over ten years of flight and cost $2 billion. Ms. Kardashian probably earned that much by exposing herself long enough for a photo shoot.

ESA scientists in Germany are concerned that a hard landing may have damaged the craft preventing them from drilling into the comet  to see if it contains water.  (Next,  BP will head up there to see if it contains oil.)

Here’s a better idea: Land another space craft on Kim Kardashian’s ass. There appears to be ample room and a soft landing is guaranteed.  A mere $2 million should cover it. (The expense, not her ass.)

As today’s photo will attest:  It’s a safe bet that a drill bit sunk into Kim’s bountiful butt would find not water, but Champagne.

Ahhh, the benefits of science. We could re-direct the water-bearing comet to California’s parched Imperial Valley and dispatch Kim to Houston to encourage future scientific discoveries.

Here’s to science.  Bottoms up.

You are welcome.